san's space

The person we most often stain with feelings of shame and guilt is ourselves, and much of our guilt and shame comes from believing we have failed in some way or other. Maybe we “should” have been more successfully, or “shouldn’t” have had an abortion, or “should” have been able to stop his drinking. Some of us can go on forever “should-ing” ourselves.

Mary Pickford, the actress, had a bit of insight on this subject I think we would be wise to adopt. “If you have made mistakes…there is always another chance for you…You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” Very few of us stay down for long.

Sadie and Ashley, mother and daughter, were talking about their past. Ashley told her mom that she would tell her more about what she was struggling with but didn’t want Sadie to feel guilty. Sadie wisely, and with hard-earned self-love, said, “I’m over that. I see we were in the same circumstances, but I didn’t cause them. If I’d had the power or the awareness, I would have changed the situation. I didn’t have either, and I did the best I could.” Don’t we all!

Make a list of your seeming failures – the “shoulds” you think you need to feel shameful and guilty about. Ask yourself if you did the best you knew how at the time; if so, think of a symbolic way to release these feelings. For instance, a friend of mine gave me a jar labeled “Shoulds and Oughts.” Periodically, I take out the little scraps of paper on which I have put my shame and guilt and burn them as a symbol of letting go and moving on.

Yesterday is irretrievable and tomorrow is unknown. We have done the best we could, and now it’s time for us to forgive ourselves for our seeming failures, congratulate ourselves for getting up after falling down, and then leave remorse behind us.

I forgive myself for what I see as my past failures. I deserve to be free of shame and guilt.

A Little Love

*greatness as you
smallest as me
you show me what is deep as sea

a little love,little kiss
a little hug, little gift
all of little something，these are our memories

you make me cry
make me smile
make me feel that love is true
you always stand by my side
i don't want to say goodbye

#you make me cry
make me smile
make me feel the joy of love
oh kissing you
thank you for all the love you always give to me
oh i love you

repeat*

yes I do ,I always do

make me cry
make me smile
make me feel that love is true
you always stand by my side
I don't want to say goodbye

repeat#

to be with you, oh i love you